On one of our trips to Mayo to get my drains out, we had to wait much longer than usual. We were in the treatment room of the plastic surgeon, so there wasn't any reading material available except for the pamphlets about botox, face lifts, tummy tucks, and believe it or not "thigh lifts!" Having looked at more than my share of surgical procedures related to my condition, I abstained.
After playing with the implants on display, we were running out of activities, so I suggested we come up with booby "hink pinks." For those of you who haven't been around me long enough to know, hink pinks are one of my favorite past times. A hink pink is a riddle whose answer is two rhyming words. The clue cannot include a word that is part of the answer. Ex. What do you call an overweight feline? A fat cat. Answering these hink pinks will test your knowledge of synonyms and breast terminology to the max.
All right! Let's begin. I will list the clues, and the answers will be at the bottom of the page. Since they all begin with "what do you call," I won't be redundant and type that phrase every time.
What do you call...
1. the top award at the boob contest?
2. a boob joke?
3. a prayed over boob?
4. an embrace from a well-endowed woman?
5. feeling sorry for someone with breast cancer?
6. a chastity bra?
7. it when gravity takes its toll on breasts?
8. rear boobies?
9. it when women store items in their bras?
10. Stevie Nick's boobs?
11. a Buttery Nipple substitute?
12. the boobs of the singer of "I was Born this Way?"
13. a large-breasted teacher?
14. breast lotion?
15. one who makes fun of breasts?
1. best breast
2. breast jest
3. blessed breast
4. jug hug
5. titty pity
6. knocker locker
7. slack rack
8. back rack
9. pack rack
10. rocker knockers
11. hooter shooter
12. Gaga's ta tas
13. hooter tutor
14. boob lube
15. knocker mocker
Scoring:
If you answered 12-15 correctly consider yourself a breast master!
9-12 - writer for a college frat paper
5-8 - reader of Harlequin romances
1-4 - you don't get out much, do you?
If you have any "best breast jests," please send them my way!
Number 5 is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteLove your humor.
ReplyDeleteHaving a boob joke gigglethon with a friend tonight. Going in for testing always gets me nervous and that make me giggly, so being a bit of a word nerd myself, the alliteration just kept coming. The best of the night?
ReplyDeleteI told friend J that I better not have cancer, because I was out of M&M's. Diagnosis necessitates chocolate. Then I decided, nevermind, if I have it or not, I'm switching to beer tomorrow night anyway. So we're having a "Toast the Tits Tuesday." Toucan's, anyone?
She also told me to call her,that no matter what, she'd come running. My response?
"Boobs bouncing in the breeze?" Wah, wah, waaaah.
So here I am, 10:40 on the night before I just might find out news that will alter the course of my destiny, and I'm chomping down Pringles and peanut M&M's, laughing hysterically at my own idiocrity, and what am I thinking?
I gotta tell Susan!